


Under the Surface

by Plucky_Brit



Series: Jemma & Lance Siblingverse [4]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending, Lance and Jemma are siblings AU, Memories of the Past, Nightmares, holiday by the water, ish, mama may, more angsty Jemma because thats all I can do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 18:18:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10904805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plucky_Brit/pseuds/Plucky_Brit
Summary: The Coulsons go on holiday. Past events come back to haunt Jemma, but she doesn't have to suffer alone.





	Under the Surface

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of my Jemma-Lance Siblingsverse, where Jemma lives with the Coulsons after their father was arrested, and Hunter has joined the army - probably makes the most sense if you read the other stories first!
> 
> Potential triggers - mentions death of a OC

Jemma missed her mother. She always missed her, but being here with the Coulsons reminded her just how badly she missed her. Mel adored her children. She laughed with them, scolded them, hugged them and fed them. Jemma’s mother had done all that, once. Jemma remembered bedtime stories and weekend adventures to the park, birthday cakes and rainy day snuggles. She remembered loosing her first tooth and her mother comforting her with tales of the tooth fairy. She remembered coming home from school with the science prize and her mother taking her and Lance to get ice cream as a celebration. She remembered the summer they’d rented a cottage by a lake and it had been just the four of them for two whole months. Lance had taught her to swim and every night they’d had dinner cooked on a campfire, and mom would sit on dad’s lap and they’d been happy.

She remembered her mother’s lifeless body, still trapped in the driver’s seat beside her, hair floating about her head like an angel, the lake water making everything ghostly green.

 She didn’t think that Bobbi knew that Jemma had been there, sitting right beside mom when the car had crashed through the barrier and down, _down_ into the water beneath, just minutes from the cottage. Lance knew that she didn’t talk about it. Not ever. And so he probably hadn’t told Bobbi because he was good at respecting things she didn’t want to talk about, things she didn’t want people to know. But she sort of wished he had told her because then she could have told Mel, and maybe they wouldn’t be in the car on the way to Phil’s colleague’s lake house.

It had been a last minute offer by his friend; the people who were supposed to rent for the summer had left early, and it was theirs for the week if they wanted it. Of course the Coulsons were thrilled. Three kids (and Jemma) plus Nat’s ever present boyfriend on their small income meant holidays were far and few between. Jemma had tried to protest, said she’d stay with Leo for the week, but Mel had had none of it. Of course, she assumed that Jemma felt she was inconveniencing them by joining their family holiday (which she also had, but for once that wasn’t her biggest problem). So Mel had insisted she come, and Jemma didn’t want to protest too much in case she came across as rude. Instead she’d loaded her case with books and her iPod, and not a single bikini. She’d take herself into the woods or stay in the house, and not even look at the lake.

It was dark by the time they arrived, and Jemma was glad. She could still hear the water, but she wouldn’t have to see it. She helped everyone unload the car, feigning tiredness as an excuse to not join in with the family’s exited chatter.

The house was pretty spectacular. The huge front looked out across the lake, and the veranda that stretched entirely across the width of the mansion stretched out over the water. Inside was more of the same. The ground floor was open plan, a state of the art kitchen with huge glass windows that could fold back so you could walk straight out to the lake. A large. comfortable sitting space was joined to the kitchen, deep sofas arranged around a vast fireplace. Clint dove straight onto one of the sofas, stretching out and grinning, until Mel gave him a stern look and he quickly stood and grabbed the bags he’d dumped.

 “Okay. There are six bedrooms, but I told Mike we’d try and keep linen down to a minimum seeing as he’s letting us stay for free. Master suite is ours, obviously. You can pick from the rest, but Skye and Jemma, you’ll have to share.” Phil told them all, and there was a moment of silence before Bobbi, Nat, Clint and Skye charged up the stairs to get the best room. Phil smiled and looked Mel. “They’re still kids at heart.”

“Go on Jemma, we’ll sort this stuff.” Mel said, gesturing to the supplies she’d put on the kitchen counter just as Jemma was about to unpack them. She nodded and followed the others upstairs.

“Skye?” She called, unsure which room her friend had picked, and Skye shouted back. She followed the sound, opening to door into an impressive looking room. That looked onto the lake. She gulped. Luckily Skye was already lounging on the bed nearest the window, grinning widely.

“Isn’t this the best?!”

Jemma sat down on the bed that was against the wall, taking in the room. They both had a double bed, but there was plenty of space to spare still. A crazy chandelier made from antlers hung from the ceiling, and there was a deer hide rug on the floor. Opposite her bed was an open door that clearly led into an en-suite. It was divinely luxurious, and Jemma wished she was anywhere else. “It’s something else.” She said weakly, and Skye gave her an odd look.

“You alright?”

Jemma shrugged. “Just tired. Long car journeys make me sleepy.”

Skye nodded, yawning. “Yeah, I’m pooped too. Lets go get our bags and then we can go to bed.”

Jemma was relieved at Skye’s suggestion, and the girls said a quick goodnight to the rest of the family before slipping into their respective beds. Skye shut out the light, and Jemma tried to tune out the sound of the waves.

The next morning Jemma purposefully avoided looking out of the window, making a noncommittal hum when Skye exclaimed over the view of the lake. At breakfast she sat with her back to the water, staying quiet at the others excitedly talked about what they wanted to do. An alarming amount of swimming seemed to be the main attraction. Phil and Clint both wanted to fish, and Skye wanted to learn. “How about you, Jemma?” Bobbi asked, as Jemma handed her the butter.

 “Um. I think I’ll probably see if I can find any trails in the wood. Maybe take my book and find a nice place to read.”

 Bobbi nodded. “That sounds nice. We should definitely do some hiking whilst we’re here.” Skye and Clint groaned loudly.

 “You can’t read _all_ the time Jemma!” Skye called across the table. “Come and try fishing with me.” Jemma shrugged.

 “Maybe.” She thought she could probably handle fishing, as long as she didn’t have to go in the water. She’d see how today went.

After breakfast everyone dashed outside, and Jemma helped Mel clean up breakfast. “Are you alright, Jemma? You’ve been quiet since we got here.”

“Oh yes, it’s beautiful here. I was just tired last night.” She replied quickly, offering a smile at her guardian. “It’s a shame Lance couldn’t get leave.” She’d let Mel think she was having a ‘Lance moment’. It worked, and Mel gave her one of her warm hugs that Jemma adored, before chivvying her outside.

The lake was huge. She couldn’t see the other side. It was dark and blue and in the distance she could see white tops on the waves. She shuddered, staring at it, her stomach tight. The others were all down by the water’s edge, splashing each other and shrieking at the cold. She didn’t want to go down there, but she would look odd if she stayed there. Instead she dashed upstairs for her book and then tentatively walked towards them. Once she was close enough to look like she was part of the fun, she sat down, crossing her legs and leaning back against a large piece of driftwood, opening her book.

The morning passed almost peacefully, like that. She decided that looking at the lake was okay. She could even admit that it was beautiful, even if she didn’t trust it. The realisation that she could indeed look at it, stand close to it, without feeling sick, was a huge relief. By lunch she felt much more relaxed, joining the others on the veranda as they tucked into the sandwiches and laughing along at the conversation. The afternoon passed in much the same way, although there was a small moment of panic as Skye tried to get her to go swimming. Skye seemed to be satisfied when she told her she didn’t like swimming very much though, and she finished her first book. All in all, it was a happy day. She was almost amused by her anxiousness this morning.

 

_The water was up to her chest, and she still couldn’t undo the belt. She was screaming for her mom, pressing her face into the water and trying to tug at her mom’s limp form. Somehow she’d ended up beneath Jemma, the car sinking sideways, Jemma’s passenger door above her. Her mom was entirely submerged. And Jemma was trapped, and the water was rising, and her head hurt and so did her chest and her leg, and the water was getting higher and her mom_ wasn’t moving. _She slammed her tiny hands against the glass above her, but she was weak, and her arms were half in the water and stopping her movement. She sunk down again, squinting, and she could see her mom, floating in the water. Her beautiful brown hair was floating in front of her face, but Jemma_ knew. _She forced herself up again, to the air pocket above her, taking a deep breath, but this time there was no air pocket, and water was surging into her lungs, burning inside her, suffocating her, and someone was shouting her name_ …

 

“Jemma! Please, you’re scaring me.”

Jemma gasped suddenly, grabbing the hands that were on her shoulders as she surged upright. She was damp with sweat, like she had just been pulled from the water, and she couldn’t help the shudder that went through her. “Skye?” She whimpered, just as the door flew open, and she flinched at the suddenness of it. 

“What’s going on, girls?” Phil said softly, squinting in the darkness of the room. Jemma was still shaking, unable to let go of Skye, even as Skye made to hug her, and certainly unable to form the words to reply to his worried question.

Luckily Skye answered for her. “Jem had a nightmare.” She told him softly, and Jemma finally released her tight grip of her friend. Skye immediately took advantage of the freedom of movement to squeeze into the bed beside Jemma and hug her. Jemma relaxed into the hug, still trembling. She’d had bad dreams before. One could even go so far as to say they were a regular occurrence, and Skye had done this before. So had Mel and Phil, and Bobbi. But she’d never dreamed about the lake before. Her dreams were always about after: about loneliness and hurt and _that_ awful house, and her father who she loved so much, but who hated her for being the one to survive the crash.

_“-mma?”_ Someone was taking to her, she realised suddenly, and she forced herself to look up. Mel had joined Phil in the room, and they were both standing close to her, looking anxious. Mel gave a relieved smile when Jemma looked up at her. “How are you feeling, sweetheart?” Jemma furrowed her brow, cataloguing herself. The trembling had slowed, and her sweat had cooled, making her skin feel clammy but no longer damp like the water.

“Better. “ She croaked. “Just… just a bad one.”

“You kept saying ‘mom’.” Skye said quietly, and Jemma couldn’t help the shudder that went through her.

“Yeah.” She mumbled, unwilling to say any more. “I’m sorry I woke you.” She looked up at Mel and Phil, and at Skye, and all three protested instantly.

“Not your fault Jemma, that’s what we’re here for.” Mel said firmly, sitting on the bed by Jemma’s feet and rubbing her legs soothingly. “Now. It’s almost five, do you want to try and sleep some more, or shall we go get an early breakfast and watch the sun rise?”

Jemma hated the thought of trying to sleep more, but also didn’t want to keep Mel awake. However, Mel always said she meant what she said, and so Jemma decided to do something she never did and accept the kind offer. “Um. Breakfast?” She asked tentatively, and Mel smiled warmly.

Phil and Skye both returned to their beds, and Mel handed Jemma a warm looking robe as they walked down the stairs to the kitchen. The horizon was just staring to pink, the very first hint that the night was ending, and Jemma stared determinedly at the light, unsure if she’d be able to handle the water. Neither of them spoke as Mel poured them both coffee and spread the toast. She didn’t say anything as Mel opened the kitchen doors and walked out onto the terrace, all the way down to the bench at the end. The perfect spot to watch the sun rise over the lake. Jemma took a deep breath and followed.

They both sat in silence for a bit, the sky gradually lightening, until Mel finally spoke. “Do you want to talk about it?” She asked softly, like she always did after her nightmares. Jemma shrugged. “You don’t have to.”

“I know. I just… it was just something I’ve never dreamt about before.” She began, trying to find the courage to keep talking. Mel squeezed her hand gently. “Um. Mom… mom died in a car crash.” She mumbled.

Mel nodded. “Bobbi told me.” She admitted. “I hope it’s okay that I knew.”

Jemma nodded. “How much did she say?”

“That there was an accident when you were 10 and Lance was 15. That’s all she knows.” Mel admitted.

“Yeah. Um. Well, mom was driving, and a tree fell on the road. She swerved to avoid it and went through the barrier into… into the lake.” She croaked.

“Oh. Jemma. I’m –“ Mel began, but Jemma kept talking, unsure if she’d have the courage to keep going otherwise.

“I was in the car too. Mom… mom died when the car hit the barrier, but I was still alive. The water didn’t fill the car immediately, but I couldn’t get out. The last thing I remember is trying to get my belt off and going up for more air, but there wasn’t any left.” She’s crying now, fat salty tears that she can taste on her lips. “Apparently a car was behind us and the driver dove in and pulled me out.” She looked at Mel, finally, eyes blurred with tears. “I never told anyone. Not even Lance.” She choked, and Mel reached out for a hug that Jemma threw herself into, half sitting on Mel’s lap and not caring at all that she was a 16-year-old girl bawling like a toddler.

“I’m so sorry, Jemma. I’m so sorry I didn’t know.” Mel whispers into her hair, rubbing her back softly. “We can go home right now, it’s not problem.”

Jemma let out a strangled huff. “As if I’d let you do that.” She smiled wetly into Mel’s shoulder and then pulled away, wiping her eyes firmly. “Its actually okay, being here. Apart from the dream, obviously.” She managed a weak smile. “I was so worried, but yesterday was fun. And I thought the water would bother me, but it doesn’t, not really. I mean, I’m not about to go swimming, but this is okay. And I want to learn how to fish.”

Mel laughed, sounding close to tears herself. “Well, I won’t force you to go home, but Jemma, I mean it; any moment it gets to much, you come find me. We can go home. Or we could just go for a walk, get away from the water. Whatever you need.”

“Thank you.” Jemma whispered, resting her head against Mel’s shoulder. The sun was just visible now, the sky radiant with pinks and oranges, the colours reflected on the still water before them, no trace of the green that had tinted her dream. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thank you so much for reading, Kudos and Comments are always loved, as is any feedback! 
> 
> Also *YAY* for season 5!!!


End file.
